I saw you and you in my dream last night. We argued. We hurt each other's feelings. I woke up in the middle of the night and despite other people sleeping soundly in the house I couldn't shake my lonely feeling. I walked to the bathroom in a sickened state: rushing and lumbering at the same time. My insides felt like they were being yanked out and I knew (even then) that my emotions were to blame.
From one moment to the next my coping abilities change from warrior to fallen soldier and back again. What IS happens to be the result of choices I make. I can either dwell on circumstances I can't alter now or try to be positive and resilient. It's tough not falling back into negative patterns of behavior and thinking, but I must. Sometimes I wish that there was someone special to hold my hand and kiss my cheek and say, "Paloma, you are awesome! I love you and I will be here whenever you need me."
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