I Have To

I guess that it just was not good enough... I guess not. I just wrote a touchy feelie blog that got wiped clean Kaboom style. I hate it when stuff like that happens... Don't you? I mean it is bad enough that my dream memory is sketchy today, but it is even worse that I know that my dreams really meant something because I didn't want to wake up this morning. I hit the Snooze button over and over again. The whole thing reminded me of some peoples' insistance that they found the meaning of life while dropping acid or taking shrooms or something like that. You know what I mean? Those ruminating questions were answered last night and then "Whammo!" I lost them.

I want to hold your hand world and take you to these depths of realization. It is like knowledege without words. It is like I finally found my way and then my legs stopped working, so here I am sitting here gazing at black and white. The remnants of what this all meant are laughing at me. What the hell! I'll laugh, too. I have to. I have to.