A New Roundness

My entire life I have been thin and when I am sad I starve rather than binge. I understand that when I have a healthy appetite it translates as inner joy and peace, but lately my desire to eat has hit an all time high. (Just in case you are wondering, I have not been getting high.) I am by no means fat or chubby, but sometimes I look down and think my stomach is cute when it is swollen with food and I rub it like I am jolly old Santa Claus smiling and chuckling to myself. Lately, I've been doing this frequently. In fact, I believe this strange behavior was the catalyst for my nervous dream last night.

I dreamt that my cute belly was expanding alongside my hips and waist and contrary to expectations I remained firm rather than jiggly. I realized within minutes that I was pregnant and upon this realization it seemed that all my bodily functions stopped and the sound of water rushing down a drain convened. Uh-oh. I have to tell my lover and he does not want children EVER.

I find him, look into his eyes and tell the truth: "I'm pregnant." He does not flinch. He is calm.

"I'm not having an abortion. I am too old. I want children."

He says, "OK, what shall we do?"

I look into the space beyond him and I feel the baby's body wriggling inside me. It twists like it is caught in the wrinkled blanket of my body.

I gasp, "Oh, no!"

He blinks.

I scream, "I wish it were food! I am not ready for a baby!"