Too Small to Live In

Last night I dreamt that I was in Portland Oregon visiting my family. (As I type this in waking life my parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew are up in Portland.) I digress...

My sister was showing me around her new home that was particularly tiny. In fact, in order to create a nursery for my infant nephew Gabriel they were forced to put up a fence parellel to their staircase. Behind the fence a meager changing table and crib clung to the small space. I grimaced and then quickly smiled to cover up the disappointment I felt for them.

At the bottom of the stairwell I found my niece Stella playing with her blocks in a cramped corner. The space was so restricted that her shoulders looked like earrings. Around the bend, my sister introduced me to their master bedroom. It was so small that they had to replace their Queen bed for a Twin. I looked up at my sister's face and there were dark circles under her eyes spelling out her sleepless nights.

I woke up this morning feeling like I had spent the night in a cage. My muscles were tight and moving was painful. The wrinkles of worries and resentments were imbedded deep in my brow. I went to the bathroom and briefly stretched my neck. It felt like an old rubberband right before it snaps and hurdles itself into an unsuspecting face. I looked into the mirror and saw my sad eyes scooping up my contacts. The sadness turned into rage in my belly that could only be quelled by the fact that I will be moving out soon from a two bedroom and into a one bedroom apartment of my own.