This Bridge I Must Cross

I had an anxiety dream last night. I went to bed late and proceeded to run until I woke up. A scary creature was not chasing me, rather time was. I had been expected at a very important party and was running late due to a plethora of bizarre obstacles in my path. The first was a crumbling cliff that I had to climb up trying desperately not to dirty my dress and scuff my fancy shoes. Once I got to the top I was faced with a very long old mutated rope bridge high above a row of sharp peaked houses. As I scurried across it like a squirrel on a telephone line I nearly lost my breath and my mind. I'm terrified of heights awake AND asleep. When I got to the other side I spun around not knowing exactly where to go next. I heard my sister and my mom calling me with the bitter tone of "You're late". I rushed in the direction of their voices. The floor was slippery against my dress shoes, so several times I had to struggle to regain my balance in order to not slip and fall. Finally, the voices changed to a welcoming sing-song of "You're here!" from my friend Sophia. "I'm so glad that you could make it!" She smiled, took my hand, and brought me into a Victorian style bedroom of rich dark wooden furniture and mint and chartreuse bedding. I looked around at the beauty and history of the room and laid my purse on the bed consumed with coats and purses of the punctual guests. My sister and mom walked into the room, looked around, and in hushed tones said, "How beautiful!" Sophia humbly responded with a 'Thank you." In that moment I looked down at my scuffed shoes, stained dress, and torn purse and felt utterly embarrassed on mutiple counts. I couldn't remember if I was showing up for a wedding shower, baby shower or housewarming party. In all circumstances I was looking and feeling unfit to be there. When I raised my eyes my sister and mother were looking at me with disappointment. Their judgmental gaze hit me with a sudden urge to run to the bathroom. Without missing a beat I woke up and hurried to the bathroom.

Lesson learned: no more sipping gin and tonics before bed.