Wonder and Gratitude

I'm back from a 4-day vacation with my family. I feel like I have abruptly changed from one life to another. The brief life I leave behind is waking to my almost 18 month-year-old niece Stella Mar saying:

"Up?"
"Outside?"
"Birdie."
"Wa-wa!"

I already miss the way she emphatically nodds her head up and down as she smiles with her little teeth and round cheeks. It was such a joy watching her shoulders inch up to her ears as she happily ran through my parent's house screaming, "Doggie? Doggie?" You'd have to have a stone heart not to love her instantly. I didn't give birth to her, nevertheless she is my flesh and blood. Stella Bella is a gift.

Last night I fell asleep with a confused heart. Confused mainly because my reactions to the world around me has changed so much within the past few years. Maturity, even amidst a little grumpiness, is finally settling in. I understand more than ever how circular life is. We all continue to get older and fall into disrepair and yet babies are still being born to remind us that living is letting our hearts awaken with wonder and gratitude.

Yesterday when I watched my sister, brother-in-law, and niece walk into the airport I realized this shift. As they disappeared, my focus changed. My eyes were dry, but my heart was grateful for their visit, for their vigil reminder that life is not always what it appears to be on the surface that there is so much more.